Supporting loved ones

Caring for someone after a stroke can feel overwhelming at first. While the health system plays an important role, the care and support from whānau, friends, and caregivers are essential for the recovery journey.

• Ask questions: Don’t hesitate to ask medical staff for clarification if you’re unsure. Take notes or ask someone to join you so you can review the information together later.
• Reach out for support: Connect with whānau or friends as soon as you can. You don’t have to face this alone.
• Conserve energy: Focus on what’s most important, and don’t try to do everything yourself.
• Stay calm: Take time to sit quietly, plan the next steps, and approach the situation one step at a time.

Creating a plan can help reduce stress and keep things organised:

• Appoint a ‘spokesperson’ to share updates with others, pass on messages, and coordinate offers of help.
• Use tools like group texts and chat groups, emails, or social media to keep family and friends informed.
• Accept help: Let others assist with visits, transportation, meals, or household tasks.
• Set up a visiting schedule to give the person with a stroke plenty of rest and yourself some breathing room.

• Visitors: Encourage short visits in the early days to avoid exhausting yourself or your loved one.
• Children and teens: Explain the stroke in simple and reassuring terms. Resources for younger family members are available at www.familyandstroke.org.nz
• Family members: Make time for others who may feel left out, such as children or elderly relatives. Be open about the situation rather than shielding adults from the truth.

• Respect and understanding: Work together to ensure your needs as a carer are also acknowledged.
• Adapt over time: Your relationship may change, and it’s okay to revisit and revise roles and expectations as you both adjust.
• Be patient: The effects of the stroke may mean your loved one doesn’t always recognise the demands on you, but clear and kind communication can help.

• Accept the new reality: Acknowledging the changes can reduce stress and help you take action.
• Build knowledge: Understanding stroke and its effects can give you a sense of control and make problem-solving easier.
• Practice gratitude: Focus on the positives—whether it’s through keeping a gratitude diary, cherishing relationships, or finding moments of joy in the world around you.
• Know your limits: Be honest about what you can manage, and don’t hesitate to ask for help.

If you’re feeling isolated or need extra help, consider these options:

• Talk to the hospital chaplain, social worker, or doctor about your needs.
• Explore respite care, day programs, or support groups in your area.
• Seek advice on legal or financial matters if needed.

Contact us: Stroke Aotearoa New Zealand is here to support you. Call us at 0800 78 76 53 or email help@stroke.org.nz for more information.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. With the right support and care, both you and your loved one can navigate this path together with hope and strength.